This is probably going to be an unpopular opinion, but…

Dear denim shorty-shorts, ;

Please die. ;Thank you

Look, I’m not some catty, Perez Hilton type who gets off on being bitchy. ;This Please Stop Announcement (PSA) is not meant to be catty. I’m coming from a practical and realistic point of view. As an ex-overweight woman, I’m also not ‘jealous’ of girls who wear these shorts. Clothing whose ending point falls millimeters below your crotch or pelvic bones are generally doing you no favours. Really.

The girls in the photo above are not fat by any stretch of the imagination, but still their homage to Daisy from ;The Dukes of Hazard ;(the originator of these shorts), is a womp, womp. It looks entirely unflattering. ;I’m not against shorts in general, just these ultra-short, ultra-tight denim panties masquerading as shorts.

For the love of your vulva, stop wearing shorts that wedge up into your crevices. Besides not being good for your feminine hygiene, these denim draws don’t look cute. You are not Rihanna, or a performer whose look needs to be “edgy”. You’re not on a stage, and you don’t have a stylist whose job it is to get you press coverage for what you wear. You trawl Tesco and Next, and your life is overwhelmingly normal. There is no need for me to walk down the street behind you, desperately trying to avoid the embarrassment of your ass cleavage. Please, for the love of yourself and everyone else, stop.